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MOVIE REVIEW: FTN reviews Cockneys Vs Zombies

October 22nd, 2012 by Angry Young Man Comments

Cockneys vs Zombies (15)
Directed by: Matthias Hoene
Starring: Georgia King, Michelle Ryan and Lee Asquith-Coe
Running Time: 88mins

A gang of bank robbers fight their way out of a zombie-infested London.

Cockneys vs Zombies is a film I had no knowledge of before being shown a clip of it on some kind of futuristic hand held computer and being told that I could review it. Apparently it had had a limited cinema release. It’s out on DVD/Blu-Ray from October 29, so any of you who, like I, haven’t had a chance to see it, can get your dirty, grubby, undead loving hands on it then. I’d say you should too, it’s a very funny show.

This is a movie that lives somewhere between Snatch and Shaun of the Dead. It’s not as iconic or brilliant as Shaun of the Dead was, but it could live in the same universe. Unlike Zombie Land. It’s also a film that out does its title. For such a terribly named piece it is much better than I expected. So it’s nothing like Snakes on a Plane.

I’m not one for spoiling so I’ll keep the details as opaque as possible. The story centres around two London brothers who turn to crime to save their Grand Dad and his elderly co-habitants from eviction from their care home. As they’re plotting and participating in a bank robbery, zombies attack.

Then things go a bit skee-wiff.

For me, the story of the young people going to save the pensioners is what makes this film as funny as it is. It was rather touching to see the ‘youth of today’ not only robbing a bank for their most respected elders, but then going out and butchering corpses to save the varicose veined and wheel chair bound old folks.

There is just something about old people fighting off the undead that makes me giggle. I think it was the fact that they had automatic weaponry, gardening implements and prosthetic limbs to counter the zombie apocalypse that made it so funny.

Alan Ford (Brick Top from Snatch) is possibly the greatest person in the movie. He is the archetypal east Londoner, and the fact that he’s old and still swinging at people dead or alive is hilarious. Give him a gun and he’s properly awesome.

The writers have done well to evolve how quickly people would react to a zombie attack. Because of the saturation of the entertainment industry with all things undead, and the numerous generations of zombie films you can’t really have people not knowing what a zombie is. And this movie, in a very dead pan manner, managed to recreate what I think I or one of my friends would say if we saw the beginning of a zombie apocalypse. It was a very funny moment in the film.

It’s about 80-odd minutes of gags, guns, and people and dead people either being bitten, shot, or stabbed. The effects are pretty damn good. They got the gore spot on, in a way very reminiscent of Severance.

Halloween is on the way and if you want a film that stands firmly in the middle of the comedy and horror border then I’d go for this. It’s well worth your time if that’s the type of film you’re looking for and it’s a close second to Shaun of the Dead.

3 out of 5 Nerds

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The Angry Young man is shockingly clever, unwittingly funny and, well, furiously angry. But harmless. Mostly. He loves games, zombies and books. Not necessarily in that order.

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