The Woman In Black (12a)
Directed By: James Watkins
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Janet McTeer and Ciarán Hinds
Running Time: 95mins
Arthur Kipps (Radcliffe), a widowed lawyer whose grief has put his career in jeopardy, is sent to a remote village to sort out the affairs of a recently deceased eccentric. But upon his arrival, it soon becomes clear that everyone in the town is keeping a deadly secret. Although the townspeople try to keep Kipps from learning their tragic history, he soon discovers that the house belonging to his client is haunted by the ghost of a woman who is determined to find someone and something she lost… and no one, not even the children, are safe from her vengeance.
If I can describe this film in one word: Yaaaaaawwwn! Maybe I was expecting too much, but I was disappointed with The Woman in Black (WIB). It starts out slow as they try to impress upon us how miserable Arthur Kipps has been since his wife died during childbirth years ago. He is sent to a small creepy ocean side town to go through the papers of a woman who recently died. When he gets there…eventually…everyone is fearful of him and hiding their children. Arthur doesn’t seem particularly concerned with this odd behavior and no explanation is given during the movie. I spent most the movie trying to figure out what was going on and why? I wasn’t even sure who the WIB was till I got home and Googled it!
The story just didn’t make sense and neither did Arthur Kipps actions. While working in the haunted house he keeps hearing strange noises so he looks around the house (sometimes needing a candle, sometimes not, but that is a whole other subject) then he goes outside to look around, then back in to sit and work. Then…OMG, there is another noise and guess what he does? Yup, looks around the house, goes outside to look, lather, rinse, repeat. This happens quite a bit. Everyone once in a while we get what I call the “OMG CAT!” moment, but in this case it is a big black bird. There are some genuinely creepy moments when the dead children start popping up.
Long story short, one sister took the baby of a crazy sister to raise as her own, but there was an accident and the then five year old boy died. The crazy sister (who was living with them, why? I don’t know) swore vengeance and hung herself. Now she goes around killing children in the village as a ghost. Because that will really show her sister….killing completely unrelated children. Why didn’t she kill her sister? How long has she been doing this? I don’t know, but there are still children in the village (why don’t the parents leave? I don’t know) so she must not be doing it very often. For some reason she starts killing again when Arthur comes to town. Why? I don’t know. The WIB has targeted Arthur’s young son, who is on his way to stay with his dad in this town. Why? I don’t know. Arthur comes up with a plan to bring the dead boy and the WIB back together and lay them both to rest. This is possible because someone in the town has a car which can pull the carriage containing the dead boy out of the mud. This wasn’t possible at the time of the accident because…I don’t know. Someone managed to build a giant mansion of stone on this island and plant a giant cross in the mud where the carriage sunk, but they couldn’t figure out how to raise the carriage out of the mud. Because the horses that carried the stone weren’t strong enough to do that I guess. Okay. And during all this Arthur’s dead wife shows up. Why? I don’t know. I do know the ending… and it was dorky.
What did I like about this film? Harry Potter has grown into a handsome young man. Other than that, I can’t think of a reason to see it. But that is just my opinion. Maybe I am just shallow and only like movies with things that catch on fire and go BOOM! Which, I do by the way.
2 out of 5 Nerds
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