Remember Superman Lives?
Sure you do. It was Warner Bros’ project to film the Death of Superman storyline, directed by Tim Burton and starring Nicholas Cage. No?
Probably that’s because the project was mired in development hell in the late 90s. A script by Kevin Smith, written to the exacting demands of producer Jon Peterson who demanded that Supes dress in black and fight a giant spider (no, really), got stuck with delays, rewrites and then a decision from Burton to jump ship and make Sleepy Hollow. The whole project died soon after.
However, thanks to the new documentary The Death of “Superman Lives”: What Happened?, test footage of Nicholas “for the love of Odin somebody cast me in a superhero movie” Cage dressed in the prototype super suit has emerged. And… well…
Look, we’re making no apologies for this. The idea in the script was for a ‘bio-organic’ suit that would be created from Kal-El being immersed in a “neutrino” bath (my inner A-Level Physics student is fuming at that statement), adhering to his skin Venom-style and finally transforming throughout the course of the film from blue to black. And yes, it’s rather snug. Disturbingly snug. Look, this was the era of Bat-Nipples and clearly Burton wasn’t as immune as we all hoped he’d be if he’d helmed Batman Forever. Apparently, Superman was supposed to be ‘ripped’, and thus we end up with this simultaneously sculpted and disturbingly figure-hugging costume. Here’s the video:
Is it just me, or does he look disturbingly like Ziva David from NCIS in one of those shots? Hey, look on the bright side, you could’ve sent two hours staring at Nic Cage’s junk. Superman Returns ain’t looking so bad by comparison now, huh? Still, please pass the eye bleach…
Dave Bowling
Dave was born at an early age to parents of both sexes. He has been a self-confessed geek for as long as he can remember, having been raised through the 80s on a steady diet of Doctor Who, Star Trek, Red Dwarf and (sigh) Knight Rider. Throw the usual assortment of Saturday morning cartoons into the mix and we have something quite exceptional: someone with an encyclopaedic knowledge of utter tosh; a love of giant robots and spaceships fighting; and the strange desire to leap tall buildings in a single bound while wearing his underpants over his trousers. The death ray is currently in the works and one day you shall all bow to him, his giant space station and fleet of funky orange space shuttles...
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